Sunday I got with Mariano and Jay and saw that movie Beowulf. I didn’t know it was in “you have to wear glasses” 3D (called Real-D), but it was, and though it was cool sometimes I felt the idea of 3D was just too gimmicky. The movie isn’t all that great overall, but the writing and performances were good in places. I did feel the direction was a little lacking in places and I didn’t particularly enjoy how the camera flew all over the place. I understand it’s computer animated and the camera has no weight, but it’s better for a learned audience’s suspension of disbelief if the camera appears to carry as much weight as a 200lb Panavision with three Union Jacks manning the pretty buttons.
Just like almost every other Robert Zemeckis movie, Beowulf has a lot of heart and a grand vision with some pretty visuals, but overall has the innate ability of being absolutely and completely pretentious. Except for the part where Beowulf’s telling the story about the sea monsters. That…was awesome.
When I left the theater I drove to the office to chill and watch Family Guy but I slapped my right butt to feel for my wallet and it wasn’t freakin’ there. I feverishly checked the car to no avail. So I sped back to Edinburgh to check the Carmike theater and there it was, tucked neatly into the folded seat which was clearly marked with a jalapeño someone decided they didn’t want and stuffed into the cup holder on my left which I noticed when my drink wouldn’t fit there. Nothing was stolen…not even my jacked up debit card. And now I’m telling you. Cool, huh?
I’m introducing a quick ratings system in this review, as follows:
Quick Review
Synopsis Warrior badass takes on monsters but just making things worse
Pros animation is nice; Hopkins, Malkovich and Gleeson are great
Cons Angelina Jolie isn’t a quarter as hot as they’d like us to believe; Real-D is gimmicky; whole thing gets old quick
Overall Weak movie, Beowulf has a few nice speeches and the story with the sea monsters was cool. Rent it, at least. Otherwise, I recommend you just watch The 13th Warrior and call it a day.
Rating 3 out of 5 stars
One Response to “Movie Review: Beowulf”
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March 4th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Beowulf’s animation was all around impressive, though the characters’ movement reminded me a lot of Shrek. I appreciate the fact that this movie gives a pseudo-education in ancient literature (never had to read the book as a child)