Well, I saw Indiana Jones on Memorial Day and it was terrific, big, stupid fun! I would imagine fans of the series would get much more out of it than anyone else, including people who just watched the first three movies to catch up. I am a fan. I even dressed as Indy for Halloween two years ago. I remember lines of dialogue, pacing and delivery. I remember music cues, edits and stage blocking. The new Star Wars movies tried to be history. This? This IS history. Indiana Jones…all the way. Go see it!
I’m watching the Cohen brothers movie No Country For Old Men again and I can’t help but get a little teary-eyed at Tommy Lee Jones’ character…again. I have this very real fear of growing old and useless. I’d like, in the end, for my life to have meant something. Maybe even something positive. Here I am and I’m looking at younger people thinking that I’m not even 30 and I feel old sometimes. How the nineties feels so far away. How some of my favorite movies from my time are considered “old”. How I can refer to less than a decade ago as “my time”. And how “less than a decade ago” still sounds like a long time. Hell, 24 hours is usually plenty of time to get things done, so I suppose 10 years has to be even more plenty. It has to be a good thing.
“It’s the tide. It’s not the one thing. “
Quick Review
Synopsis: Red-headed step child of a family of cops decides to aid in the take down of a drug ring
Pros: Great cast. Violent stuff is pretty decent. Eva Mendes masturbates in the first two minutes.
Cons: Borrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiinnnnnnnnnnng!!!!!!!
Overall: This movie blows. It has a great cast but the script sucks and the director can’t direct. He even says on the (scripted) commentary that he had zero interest in the action scenes (namely a car chase which had great potential to stand along side the car scene from Children of Men), and his inability to craft anything mildly interesting after the first half hour is mind boggling. Look at the cast and be amazed at how not even they can save this garbage.
Long Review
Well, I got a chance to watch We Own The Night and I must say; other than the names of the main cast members, there isn’t a whole lot to like about the movie. It really, really drags for one thing. Now I’m all about the realistic depiction of police paperwork and procedure, but great movies like Heat, Se7en, Bullitt, The French Connection and American Gangster do that and they weren’t boring at all…and that’s if Night showed any of that stuff to potentially make it boring…which it didn’t.
The problem with Night is that it doesn’t know what it is. “Am I a taught police thriller? Maybe I’m a gripping family drama coupled with a tragic love story? No, no: I’m a badass action flick with a jaded anti-hero with nothing to lose! No, wait…”
A complex movie like Heat is able to pull off all these elements into one cohesive whole because it knows that, at its core, its just a cops and robbers story. Being helmed by Michael Mann doesn’t hurt, either. The movie NARC nearly suffered from the same schizophrenia that Night does, except it’s director, Joe Carnahan, was able to control what it was under the surface until it slowly revealed it’s true genre: mystery. What NARC did suffer from was too much imagination and not enough self control, so it tended to try to be bigger than it really needed to be, but that fallacy didn’t show half as much as it did in We Own The Night. (NARC, incidentally, was Carnahan’s second feature movie. Night is director James Gray’s third.)
Where NARC pretended to be The French Connection when it was actually an episode of Columbo (but more badass and with Ray Fuckin’ Liotta), Night thinks that it’s Heat but it’s actually just a big dumb action movie without any action in it. Night devolves into brainless, unbelievable action B-movie so gradually after the first 20 minutes it’s hard to notice it until after the credits roll, when you’re sitting there with your mouth open and a big electric question mark floating over your head as you wonder where it all went wrong.
Sure, the short car chase in the rain was cool in a video game kind of way, and yeah the drug bust scene had a few moments of authenticity to it, but c’mon, man. The dialogue is so flat and ho-hum that I was AMAZED that the actors were able to make the movie at least half-way watchable. I got so bored after the first half I just hit fast forward on the DVD because I already knew what was going to happen. [spoiler]“Guy gets disillusioned with his life while his girlfriend gets disillusioned with him and she leaves him and then he joins the good guys and becomes a super cop and saves the day all by himself.” Cue slow-mo of hero exiting flaming remains of the final showdown’s blasted exterior as the circle of fellow police officers revel in his badassery and display of machismo as the at-one-point fatherly villain hangs his head in proverbial shame. Crescendo with the music…and fade to black.[/spoiler]
The only other high point I can think of is the opening scene where Joaquin Phoenix joins girlfriend Eva Mendes in rubbing herself off when they are interrupted by some topless shit going down in the crooked bar he manages. It’s all down hill from there. Neither Phoenix, Mark Wahlberg nor the incomparable Robert Duvall could save this movie. Looking at his past work, I imagine this is director James Gray’s solution to save his crappy writing and lack of direction: hire great actors to make his lack of talent not show so much. But, Gray, even if your movie looks good (especially in the trailers) with the stellar cast and all that, when your movie is THIS boring, a special guest appearance by Jesus himself couldn’t make it watchable after the first hour. And that’s because a charismatic cat like Jesus could read the phone book and make it interesting. Seen ‘im do it.
So, We Own The Night just isn’t very good. And comparing it to the likes of The Departed (which was merely okay now that I looked at it again) just seems foolish and insulting to the likes of Scorsese. Not that he cares. Scorsese’s good and he knows it. And just because Marky Mark is in both movies doesn’t make your movie a successor, not even a spiritual one. So stay away from this flick, Night, but rent it at least for the few seconds of Eva Mendes’ opening scene. That part’s barely worth a rental, I suppose. But as far as a comparable movie to compare this one to, I’d have to scratch out any of the great cop movies I mentioned above and go with Eye See You, the dreadful Stallone movie from a few years back. Don’t remember it either? That’s okay, the same will be said of We Own The Night in a few more weeks.
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
I picked up the two-disc version of “I Am Legend” and sat back and sincerely enjoyed the original ending. I feel the original ending gives better closure to the events of the movie and best shows Neville as the true anti-hero that he really is.
In fact, the movie now better conveys the latter day translation of the book that the filmmakers were going for, keeping the story bleak, and closing the gaps we all had in our brains in the theatre (”the butterflies didn’t do shit for Neville!” and “how are there survivors?!”). This was a movie that didn’t need the kind of happy ending closure the theatrical version gave us. The original ending is superior in every way.
I think even the CGI naysayers will finally have to wipe the proverbial egg from their faces when they see it. I hope that if they were to make a sequel (and they probably will) that they don’t use the theatrical ending as a jumping off point.
Quick Review
Synopsis: An honest cop investigates an honest crook on the streets of 1970s New Jersey.
Pros: Sharp, detailed direction by Ridley Scott, stand-out performances by Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe.
Cons: Not as violent as I would have liked, maybe a tad long for some people.
Overall: This may be one of the finest films about organized crime since The Godfather. Scott is a master of detail and the movie absolutely transports you to the era of the film’s setting. And I love Denzel when he gets a chance to act…and act he does. The extended cut is great (I hadn’t seen the theatrical version) and the supplemental material is very well done, if a bit fluffy here and there. Buy it.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Quick Review
Synopsis: Vampires besiege a modern Alaskan town during an annual month of darkness
Pros: Dark, fun, and thrilling with some genuine scares. Ben Foster. Danny Huston.
Cons: Not that romantic…might be a bad thing if you’re expecting “Dracula”.
Overall: Solid direction. Strong writing and performances with a love story that doesn’t get in the way. Effects are great. A few genuinely frightening scenes. The shark-like vampires really feel like hunters. Solid rental.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
I almost forgot about this little short film called bigLove directed by Leif Tilden back in 2001. It’s one of the first films ever shot and digitally, having never touched celluloid. It’s a very sweet story and you should check it out right now at SPIKE powered by iFilm. It stars Sam Rockwell and Mary McCormack.
I just got a chance to see the fifteen minute horror comedy, Zombie Movie, by Michael J. Asquith and Ben Stenbeck of 2Chums Moving Pictures. Misters Asquith and Stenbeck are WETA alumni whose work can now be seen in Valve’s Half-Life 2 and later episodes.
I thought the movie was pretty darn good and probably as fun as what The End should have been. Kudos to both y’all.
No, I’m not a horror movie aficionado, nor do I have a fascination with the macabre. I am not a goth, nor do I have any interest in personally writing, directing or producing zombie movies of my own. Yes, I edited one, but my forte is science fiction. Truth be told, the only way I found out about this was because I was searching for any actual short films based on Half-Life that are not machinima. There aren’t any as I am seriously considering making one, myself. End of line.
Sunday I got with Mariano and Jay and saw that movie Beowulf. I didn’t know it was in “you have to wear glasses” 3D (called Real-D), but it was, and though it was cool sometimes I felt the idea of 3D was just too gimmicky. The movie isn’t all that great overall, but the writing and performances were good in places. I did feel the direction was a little lacking in places and I didn’t particularly enjoy how the camera flew all over the place. I understand it’s computer animated and the camera has no weight, but it’s better for a learned audience’s suspension of disbelief if the camera appears to carry as much weight as a 200lb Panavision with three Union Jacks manning the pretty buttons.
Just like almost every other Robert Zemeckis movie, Beowulf has a lot of heart and a grand vision with some pretty visuals, but overall has the innate ability of being absolutely and completely pretentious. Except for the part where Beowulf’s telling the story about the sea monsters. That…was awesome.
When I left the theater I drove to the office to chill and watch Family Guy but I slapped my right butt to feel for my wallet and it wasn’t freakin’ there. I feverishly checked the car to no avail. So I sped back to Edinburgh to check the Carmike theater and there it was, tucked neatly into the folded seat which was clearly marked with a jalapeño someone decided they didn’t want and stuffed into the cup holder on my left which I noticed when my drink wouldn’t fit there. Nothing was stolen…not even my jacked up debit card. And now I’m telling you. Cool, huh?
I’m introducing a quick ratings system in this review, as follows:
Quick Review
Synopsis Warrior badass takes on monsters but just making things worse
Pros animation is nice; Hopkins, Malkovich and Gleeson are great
Cons Angelina Jolie isn’t a quarter as hot as they’d like us to believe; Real-D is gimmicky; whole thing gets old quick
Overall Weak movie, Beowulf has a few nice speeches and the story with the sea monsters was cool. Rent it, at least. Otherwise, I recommend you just watch The 13th Warrior and call it a day.
Rating 3 out of 5 stars
I just finished watching Pan’s Labyrinth and the damn movie made me cry. Excellent film, made with love. There’s something about Guillermo del Toro’s work that puts a smile on my face. I also saw that one of my favorite filmmakers, Alfonso Cuarón (Children of Men) produced the film with del Toro. Starring was Maribel Verdú who starred in Cuarón’s Y Tu Mama Tambien.
Both grotesque and fantastic, Pan’s Labyrinth is easily one of my favorite films from 2006. I wish I had seen it in the theater. Unfortunately I was unable to find the two-disc collector’s edition and only bought the single-disc DVD. This is a movie I’m going to double dip on. I also had to re-buy Children of Men because I bought the fullscreen version by mistake. I’m getting bad about my current DVD purchases. I also bought Smokin’ Aces and Crank…funny how none of the movies I bought today were American. And I still haven’t seen Live Free or Die Hard. Well, next up is 300 due out on the 31st. I look forward to that.
RSS 2.0 feed